Money worries can strain the relationship between couples. At times, a lack of communication can ruin your ties with your partner. No matter if you are just dating or planning to get married, money talks should not be avoided.
You do not have to reveal your bank balance. You should share your financial goals and overall outlook about finances. This much freedom should exist between you and your partner.
You should not hide your debts and spending patterns. Open discussions between partners can often be helpful for each other. Shying away from talking might create a heap of problems in the future.
For example, you both, either as a married couple or live-in partners, need a loan for home expenses. Now, you have poor credit scores. However, your partner should have perfect scores to get loans for couples with bad credit.
In this scenario, the lender will offer loans seeing the financial stability of your partner. If you have already discussed your concerns and the way you will repay loans, there will be no problem. Something wrong may or may not happen if you blindly believe your partner.
What if your other half ditched you in the midway? Your financial condition is not stable to support payments. The outcome could be horrific as the debt burden is going to increase in your case. For this reason, having a one-to-one talk about finances is critical.
How can you go about it? All these are going to be discussed in this blog.
Discussing finances is crucial in a relationship
You might feel reluctant to start a conversation with your partner on money matters. The other person might have another mindset and both of your opinions might not match. All these apprehensions might haunt you.
The only way to get over them is through a conversation. It does not matter who will take the initiative. Discussing finances can help you understand each other in a better way from a different dimension.
This way, you can have an insight into your partner’s financial behaviour. At the same time, they can find out about your money value.
· Ways to start a conversation with your partner
You need to be practical and straightforward when it discussing money matters. If you hesitate, certain aspects will never be clear to you. Indulge in an open discussion about money on a schedule date as decided by you both.
v Do some pre-preparations
Although it might seem like a normal and informal talk with your dear one, some pre-preparations should be there. Brainstorm some unique ideas so that your partner feels interested in these conversations.
You both should have some idea about the topic of the meeting. It should not be a surprise to any of you. Creating the basic foundation of conversation can help you break the ice and begin the process.
v Participation from both sides
Just because you have a keen interest in handling finances, you should not be the only one who is participating. Let your partner participate so that it becomes a mutual thing. Thus, there is no need to prove your dominance.
Make sure that you listen carefully to what they are telling you. It might seem trivial, but it can disclose a key feature of your partner’s financial well-being. Be a recipient, too, or else it will not be an equilibrium in your relationship.
If you do not show interest in listening to them, you should never expect the same from them.
v Be ready to adjust
You must know one thing that your views might not match. In most cases, you will have a completely different outlook from your partner. It does not mean you should not adjust at any cost.
Discuss if you feel like your thoughts are contradicting. Through discussion, you can find out the common areas in which you can work together.
v Create a financial plan together
If you plan to move in together soon, a common goal is critical. You are going to handle monthly expenses together and build a future together. Thus, how you will manage the financial aspect should be clear in your head.
You must be prepared to accept the good by changing a little bit. Maybe your partner is very particular about finances while you are very casual. Alter your mindset as you know it would be for the good.
You both together might decide to have a home in a few years. You cannot achieve this without some financial planning. Both of you must sit together to write down aspects that are vital.
v Keep discussing from time to time
It should not be a one-time discussion between you two. These meetings should happen if not frequently but after regular intervals. The more you have a conversation with your partner, the more you can learn about each other.
This is very crucial if you want to take this relationship forward. You will start to know each other. You might inculcate each other’s good and bad habits. You may try to build some common good habits regarding finances.
For this, you must have frequent discussions about the start and the gradual progression. You must work as a team to find out if the strategies you implement are working or not.
v Do not be in a rush
If you will hurry up things, it might have a reverse effect on you. For this reason, you must take the slow route. Money chats are obviously not the usual ones you have.
They need to be specific and seriously discussed. It could be a red flag if you find your partner bothers least about funds. It might indicate that they spend money mindlessly.
Do not make the start too serious or boring. Initiate the conversation with some general topics. This should help you get to know each other.
v Portray yourself as an example
Maybe, you do not like the overspending nature of your partner. Remember that you cannot blame them for being like this. Instead, try discussing your spending behaviour with them.
Instead of pointing out the negative sides of their financial behaviour, show the benefits of your financial habits. Involve in small financial decisions so that they realise their importance. This will encourage them to participate with you in money matters.
You must not forget that neither you nor they can change over a night. Some habits need time to eliminate and build. You should allow that much time.
v Make saving fun-filled
Money matters are not always interesting. However, you can make them fun by focusing on some fun activities. For example, you can throw different challenges at each other to save money for a particular goal, like holidaying or purchasing something costly.
You both should not pressurise or impose decisions on each other. This will surely have a bad impact on your relationship. You have to work together and focus on common goals.
Nothing related to these common objectives should be hidden from each other. If you want to build your financial life together, you both will need each other’s support.
The bottom line
Apart from love, you both should feel secure about finances. You can make sure about it through healthy and fun-filled discussions.